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I am 65 years old, and my girlfriend is 57. We are very sexually active, and with 25mg Viagra, believe it or not, we go on for sometimes 2 hours. She is very unusual, as she can have more orgasms in 10 minutes, than other women have in a month, in addition what is incredible, is that all I have to do is let her ride on me, and she just continues to orgasms one after another. I am in heaven. Thank you Viagra. - S., Age 63, East Brunswick

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Use viagra?

Well, I’m not sure how to follow the last two posts. Probably to bring us back down to earth with a bump and talk about sex. But then that isn’t really changing the subject too much because love and sex are all part of the ‘total package’ as Sue puts it. So anyway, here we go on my recent thoughts on the subject of sex.

This was sparked off by reading Jay Loves Kitti. Their situation is very similar to ours in that they are 39, have been married for 15 years and Jay has recently had a vasectomy (I had one 2 years ago).

Jay made a post at:
Firm or floppy- Time to try Viagra?

I made a fairly lengthy comment on that post which I actually regretted making later - not that I regretted posting a comment, but it could have been thought through a bit better. I was trying to compare their situation to ours, but forgetting that they are, of course, very different people to us.

Then Kitti made a terrific post:
I am not the wicked witch of the bedroom

I love the title of that and her points were very well put. I like Kitti. I enjoy reading her posts. I wouldn’t like to be married to her - but then she probably wouldn’t want to be married to me either. Which is just as well as we are both already happily married.

Anyway, I won’t comment further on Jay and Kitti, but as with many good blogs it got me thinking about our own situation. Should I consider using Viagra or Cialis, or would there be a situation in the future when I would?

As I have progressed into my forties I haven’t yet found any problem with getting or maintaining an erection, but I have found it increasingly difficult to come in some situations.

In my twenties it was always a battle not to come too soon during penetrative sex, especially in the ‘missionary position’. Also, it was possible to have sex two or three times in a day and not have any problem coming. But from my mid thirties the ‘recovery time’ got progressively longer.

Now my ‘recovery time’ is about 24 hours. However, if we have sex frequently the recovery time gets longer. For example, if we had sex one day and then again 24 hours later I would probably come on both occasions without problem. But if we had sex on the third day I probably wouldn’t be able to come. Similarly, if we had sex every other day I would probably be OK for about a week, but eventually if we carried on every other day I would get to a situation where I wouldn’t be able to come.

So, does that mean that sometimes we have sex and I fail to come? Yes, it does happen. Not very often, but it does happen. When this first happened to me (not sure when, possibly in my late thirties) I was a bit concerned. But as it was occasional it wasn’t a real problem. To be completely honest, when it happened the first couple of times I pretended to Sue that I had come. This was more because I felt that she would feel bad about the fact that I hadn’t come, rather than because I felt bad. From my point of view it really wasn’t a great problem.

And from my point of view it still isn’t. If I don’t come during sex it doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy it. I would much rather have sex and not come, than not have sex at all. So I never miss an opportunity to have sex on the basis that I might not come. As I mentioned before, thankfully I haven’t suffered any erection problems as yet. And indeed if I get to a situation where I don’t come I can stay hard for quite a while.

This can actually enhance sex if anything for 2 reasons. First, I can keep going for a very long time with a seemingly everlasting erection. When this happens it is not normally me who has to stop but Sue gets to the point where she can’t take any more! There was one occasion a month or so ago when we must have remained in penetrative sex in various positions for over an hour (not including foreplay, I’m talking about time actually spent inside her) and she must have had in excess of 40 orgasms. She was virtually pleading with me to stop in the end. I think her multiple orgasms, by the way, play a big part in me being able to stay hard.

Secondly, I find that in this situation I will almost come and it is a bit like a mini orgasm. But because I don’t actually ejaculate I can remain hard and keep going until I nearly come again. And again and again. This is probably the closest I am going to get to multiple orgasms. And that, I have to say, is very pleasurable.

I also find that I rarely come in any position except the missionary position these days. So it means that we can have sex in other positions, such as doggy style, and I can keep going for as long as I like without having to worry about coming too early. It is very nice to use various different positions and then end up in the missionary position to finish off. Personally, I prefer to come with us in this position because it is more intimate and is especially good when we both climax together. I know that Sue prefers this as well.

Contrast this with a few years ago when if we had sex doggy style it was very difficult to avoid coming. In fact, if we used that position I would almost invariably come and I would find myself apologising for not being able to control myself. But now that is not a problem.

So for me, there is absolutely no problem with the fact that I take longer to come or sometimes don’t come at all. In fact, it is probably beneficial.

In contrast, Sue has orgasms more freely as she gets to her forties. I don’t know when her sexual peak is going to arrive but she still seems to be on the up at the moment. Fucking a woman who is having orgasm after orgasm and being able to keep going while she has maybe 10 or more orgasms in a row is quite amazing.

We also have more simultaneous orgasms now that we ever did in the past. What usually happens is that she has several orgasms, gaining in intensity until one of her orgasms sets me off, and she can feel that I am going to come and that intensifies her orgasm, which gets me going even more and so on until we both end up in one amazing double orgasm. This doesn’t always happen, but it happens quite a lot.

I’m not seeking to compare myself (or ourselves) with anyone here or to say that our sex is better than anyone else’s or that anyone should try to do as we do. Obviously our sex works for us. It might not work for someone else. I’m sure that there are things that other couples do that we wouldn’t do. All I’m trying to do is to explain it from my perspective.

And from my perspective sex at 44 is definitely better than it has ever been.

So would I use Viagra or Cialis? Well, the answer is yes, probably, when I need to. But right now I think I am happy with things as they are.

9 Comments:

Ed,

My problem seems almost opposite of yours.

I’m still counting ejaculations as part of the post-vasectomy regimen. Currently it’s 33 in the past 44 days. Most of the “off” days were when we were traveling or sick with the flu. Almost half were masturbation though so the actual “sex with partner” has averaged about every other day.

I don’t seem to have trouble producing semen. My problem is getting and staying hard during foreplay and oral. This really puts Kitti off and she exhibits little pleasure in wanking me back up. In fact she often exhibits displeasure doing it. Of course that makes it even more difficult for me to get back up.

I also sometimes experience trouble staying hard until orgasm, but I’m pretty sure that will completely go away after my last condom (hopefully this week or next).

Based on what I’ve read, I’m the perfect candidate for Viagra or Cialis. I don’t think you are though. It seems like your limit on orgasms may be more about your prostate than your penis.

Questions- Do you ever have “dry orgasms” where little or no semen is ejaculated? Is there a big difference in semen output depending on how long it’s been since you last ejaculated? (I’m no Dr., but these seem like meaningful questions)

Jay
Jay Loves Kitti: Tuesday, December 07, 2006 3:55:34 PM

Sorry for not fully comprehending your post. Your “mini-orgasms” are what I was referring to as “dry orgasms”.

Back when I was 23 and another “She” was 35, on a couple occassions I would come and just keep going until I had another, then another “mini-orgasm” about every 10 or 15 minutes. I agree that for me I’d rather screw for 45 minutes and not orgasm than just get it over quickly.

Jay
Jay Loves Kitti: Tuesday, December 07, 2006 4:02:48 PM

Dry orgasms - yes I like that. That’s a good way of putting it.
Ed: Tuesday, December 07, 2006 4:35:32 PM

From a medical perspective, I don’t know that Viagra would help with ejaculation. But if you don’t have a problem with not having orgasms sometimes, then tehre is NO problem, right? So worry abt it only when and if it becomes one. (I’m assuming you have your prostate checked regularly, at your age you should)
The Lioness: Tuesday, December 07, 2006 4:51:30 PM

Er, no, I haven’t had my prostrate checked. But you’re right, I probably should.
Ed: Wednesday, December 08, 2006 12:30:57 AM

Just reading that comment again, Lioness. What do you mean ‘at your age’?!

You young Lioncub, you!
Ed: Wednesday, December 08, 2006 11:03:36 AM

I mean over 40, you KNOW that. Really, have it checked, if something goes wrong (say, it becomes enlarged) it’s quite easy to fix at an earlier stage, don’t ruin what you have bcs you were lazy, imagine the waste, do have it checked. Even prostate cancer, which kills thousands every year, is easily treated if caught early on. I hope I’m scaring you and making you pay attention as of now to how often you need to pee and how long it takles. I’ll keep pestering you till I wear you down. (Sue, are you reading this? Get him to do it, it’s VERY important AT HIS AGE!)

As for myself, I am over 30 so what lion cub are you talking abt?
The Lioness: Thursday, December 09, 2006 2:19:55 AM

Yes, she has read it and was busy Googling on prostrate cancer this morning.

How about I promise to get my prostrate checked if you promise not to forget to eat? There you go - I will listen to Auntie Lioness if you will listen to Uncle Ed.

Are you really over 30? For some reason I had you down as being mid-twenties. I was only kidding about the age thing - which I’m sure you realised. I’m not really touchy about my age. Honest…
Ed: Thursday, December 09, 2006 4:22:31 PM

Yes, I’m 333. Good for Sue, I’ll lay off, I’m eating as we speak.
The Lioness: Thursday, December 09, 2006 9:53:46 PM